This week - i luv Junior Year

• APUSH research paper/presentation
• AP Environmental project
• Italian Project
• Read Equus

why we are told to sleep on decisions

and then i realize

love is filling

warming

and comforting

.

i’m just left to wonder

• do the beautiful parts of love really outweigh the almost unbearable pain?

clenching my jaw

only hurts my mind more

and coaxes my tears from

their budding wells.

loving

only shatters my mind

because i can never 

let my feet take a wrong step

i’m walking on eggshells.

loving 

snaps my throat

into painful ribbons

flowing down my chest

in slow time

with the water leaking from

my tightly shut eyes.

i have never written about my best friend

through the faded glass

we try to watch each other

constantly wiping the blurred veneer

because we ache to savor 

a glimpse of one another’s 

familiar facial planes.

but there’s a wall that has severed

the ties in our hearts

that once knew no distance

and caused the knots in my throat.

there’s a wall that has guarded my words

and twisted them into meaningless sounds

because even English cannot understand 

the emptiness between us

or why a fence has been built

blocking your garden of growth.

yet i still try to peer

between the spaces in the picket

and yet all i see

are your flowers

too beautiful 

for my worn hands.

Melting Snow - an excerpt

Now that you have arrived

I understand the strength of a lover’s arms.

There I have wilted,

my leaves tumbling

into piles of decay and forgotten autumn.

In the winter of your love,

I shed my skin

and felt no cold. 

worst day of my life